SmallGroups.com

"Small Groups in Depth" collections are assembled by the editors of SmallGroups.com as a method of continuing education for people participating in small-groups ministry. Each collection offers step-by-step training on a specific ministry skill or practice. Individuals may read through each resource on their own as a method of self improvement, or may customize the articles, discussion questions, assessments, and tools as a means of training others.

Overview

The apostle James is pretty clear about what our priorities should be when speaking and listening to others: "Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak, and slow to become angry" (James 1:19). This is especially true in a small-group setting. Whether we are leaders or members, facilitators or hosts, we all need to abide by that mandate.

Therefore, listening skills are a vital component of healthy and fruit-filled communities. The following resources can help those in your small-groups ministry improve their ability to listen well.

Questions

Whether improving your skills individually or training other people, use these discussion questions to introduce the topic of Listening Well.

• In your opinion, what are the main characteristics of a good listener? What characteristics or habits would disqualify someone from being a good listener?
  
  
• Who are some people in your life that you would categorize as good listeners? What is it like to be around them?
  
  
• When it comes to listening well, what do you find most difficult? Why?
  
  
• What comes naturally to you in terms of listening to others?
  
  

Tools

The resources below provide expert advice and practical tips for improving your skills as a listener (and the skills of others in your small-groups ministry). They have been divided into three stages to help you progress through the training at the pace you choose. Stage One contains basic tips for listening well. Stage Two addresses specific listening skills and situations. And Stage Three highlights our premium downloadable content, which offers the most in-depth look at the skill of listening well.

Stage One

1. Listening Repaired
   Wisdom from the Book of Proverbs that can help you listen well
   By Kathleen Miller
   
   
2. 10 Ways to Be a Better Listener
   Follow these steps for greater understanding, attention, and empathy.
   By Michael Mack
   
   

Stage Two

1. Hearing Aids for Small-Group Leaders
   Why listening is such a valuable tool for those of us in charge
   By Cathy Mogus
   
   
2. Good Questions Show Good Listening
   Learn to understand people and help them understand themselves.
   By Doug Self
   
   
3. Having a Good Cry
   Learn to deal openly and honestly with strong emotions in your small group.
   By Brooke B. Collison
   
   
4. Icebreaker: Gestures
   Let members speak without saying a word.
   By Tami Rudkin
   
   
5. Outreach Options: Glancing Behind the Mask
   Give someone an opportunity to feel safe enough to take off his or her mask.
   By Sue Skalicky
   
   

Stage Three

This resource is designed to improve listening skills for both small-group leaders and members. The articles provide training on basic listening skills and the ways in which those skills can be applied in a small-group setting.

The following handouts from Becoming a Great Listener are especially useful:

• Preparing to Listen, by Joel Comiskey—highlights three skills that allow us to make the most of every conversation.
  
  
• Self Awareness in Listening, by Emma J. Justes—helps us understand stereotypes and prejudices that can impede us from hearing others properly.
  
  
• What Are You Trying to Say? by Pat J. Sikora—a very useful chart for organizing and translating different methods of body language.